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Butch vs. Femme...again?

I'm a bisexual femme girl attracted to femme girls, and I just have a question for those who are attracted to butch gals. I've always been confused by that, because as a lesbian/bisexual, I would think that you loved women because they're...well...women. But butch girls are much more masculine, so why be attracted to butch girls if you're not going to be attracted to men? Is it just a plumbing/tools sort of thing? I understand that you can love someone for what their like on the INSIDE (I could already see the lectures I was about to get for that), but there also has to be physical attraction either initially or eventually or whatever. Thanks for any input! You're right, I wasn't trying to be disrespectful and was being curious. I mostly ask because, the way I saw it, one would prefer butch over femme because they were more like men. But then I asked myself (and this is probably typical for a bisexual, because I am attracted to different things with each sex), why would you search for the masculine in a woman when you can have a man? The more I think about it, though, it seems like I'm turning it into a black and white issue when it's not. Thanks for the answer, though, just wanted to clarify why I was thinking the way I was--I wasn't trying to 'explain attraction' or whatever it may be.

Public Comments

  1. Well, I thought I was only attracted to femme girls for the same reasons when I was younger. I don't know -- I guess when you get older, stuff like that becomes less and less meaningful. I can't really answer your question, this is just how it worked out for me.
  2. A butch woman is STILL a woman. She still (usually) gives off a female vibe. No matter how she looks, and what she straps on, she's still female. Someone who is better with words will hopefully give you a better answer.
  3. because they are hot!!!! I use to really only like butch women. Just something about them... :)
  4. I am very much attracted to butch women, just as much as femmes. There is just something about a butch woman. Like, the really attractive ones like like to wear guyish clothes and act masculine but with class. Yea, that's really hot. But I also really like FEMININE girls, because I think the female form is amazing. High heels are great.
  5. It's the balance. That "butch aura"..something about the mix of masculine and feminine in one body. The way they carry themselves, their confidence, their ability to know EXACTLY who and what they are. That's sexy..in my opinion. They're still women though. They still can relate to other women as women. They still have the ability to show compassion, be good caretakers, good providers, sympathize with a woman when she's PMS'ing and things like that. Most butch women that I've chosen to associate with and/or date, have been like a very gentlemanly male and a very independent/assertive/confident female all rolled up into one. They are quite literally, the best of both worlds. Plus, I like vaginas. So for me, they are everything I could ever want in a person.
  6. femmes are like omg so sexy!, i consider myself a slight butch im very tall and skinny and wear big clothes but not all the time. gosh i luv femmes but i wont date a butch (no offense)
  7. Thats what i was trying to say to my girlfriend... but, she's bisexual, not a lesbian/bisexual. I don't consider my self a 'butch', because my body isn't butch (even though i have self esteem issues with myself) and i don't act like a 'butch', but i suppose - i am boyish in looks (thats how i feel comfortable as, ya know?) Lets say, I'm butch-femme ;D I understand what your saying, but at the end of the day, if your a girl - your a girl. No matter what you look like. Lesbians (femme's) who are with really stone butch people, probably are attracted to them as, they are a woman... but manly? They find that to full them in some way, protected? It could be a number of things, it's down to the people, what they think of their lover. They still have a vagina, and have a womanly manner about 'em too... Sorry if it didn't make sense ><
  8. Dear, I have to point out that you asked.. "so why be attracted to butch girls if you're not going to be attracted to men?". Ahem. I mean, c'mon. Attraction is not something people can control. You like who you like and to dissect it over the "whys and what fors" is only going to give you a headache. If you aren't attracted to butch women then don't date them. I'm attracted to very few butch women personally so I've dated very few but I don't feel the need for anyone to explain these sorts of things. I know you're only asking because you're curious and you weren't disrespectful in any sort of way but to question the basis of attraction, it's a question that can't be answered.
  9. Well Im bi too and I dont know. There something about the butch girls that just gets to me. I dont know how to explain it.
  10. wow i agree 100%! it annoys me cos butch females really ruin the average females girly sexy appearance i am deffiantly not attracted to butch lesbians or bisexuals I'm bisexual and I'm girly and only like girly girls for sure =)
  11. I prefer feminine women. The attitude and appearance are just part of the attraction.
  12. girl, i like your question, because i feel the same way too. if you like butch, why dont you just date a man, right? i personally like femme girl, man they are so hot.
  13. I am attracted to both femme girls and butch girls. Being with a femme girl is amazing when you are really in the mood for being with a girly girl, but a butch girl, let me tell you, it's kind of like being with a guy and a girl at the same time, you get the advantage of being with a girl, but also you get some of the stuff a guy does, like opens doors for you and and wraps you up in their arms at night without having to be with a guy. Some butch girls take it a little to far, but for the most part they are just being themselves and that's what makes you fall in love with them.