Did I deserve such a hard time from my girlfriend?

My girlfriend is currently doing a health and safety course. Yesterday I spent the whole day sorting out little diy jobs in her house whilst she was away. I made a nice dinner, prawn salad to start and salmon done with lemon and dill and laid the table with a candle in the middle. I thought it would be nice to open a bottle of wine and sit at the table talking about her course. I grabbed an ordinary looking bottle of red out of her wine rack, opened it and waited for her to come home. When she got home she hit the roof and said she had been saving that bottle for several years for a special occassion. ooops! I can understand her being a bit disappointed but I was only trying to be nice. She spent all evening muttering to her self in the kitchen "of all the bottles to open". We didn't eat at the table and really argued. I apologised until I was blue in the face. But she said I was like a child saying sorry all the time with no idea of how hurt she was! Is it just me or was she harsh! (it was a rossini borolo I opened, she told me it was worth alot of money as 1993 was a great year for borolo but I have rang lots of wine merchants today and they said 1993 was an average year and they had not heard of the rossini supplier. I know I cant replace the sentimental value of it but its not an expensive bottle!!!!

Public Comments

totally uncalled for
That was pretty crappy of her. It was a complete accident. wine is wine, y'know? Can you not get another bottle? A nicer bottle? You did a kind thing. You are a nice person.
Your girlfriend needs to chill and appreciate what you did for her. If she can't...I know plenty of other woman out there who would love to have someone like you in their lives!
She is dead wrong if that bottle was that important than it should have been in a special place not with the rest of them. I would have loved for my husband to do something like that for me. You did a wonderful thing
You did a lovely thing for her. All you can do is apologise, which you did. Maybe you could go and buy another bottle of wine that the two of you can put away for a special occasion together. Hope she forgives you.
dump the bitch
You apologized what else are you supposed to do. Maybe you should hop in your time machine and go fix your error. She is being a b!tch. Tell her to get over it. You said sorry there isn't anything else you can do!!
all i can say is what an unappreciative bitch, tht was really rude of her to do that she could have just said thank you
It seems to me that she was a bit harsh, yes. Maybe there are other reasons for her reacting like this, I would sit down and have a good chat. Is everything ok at college? is anything troubling her? does she have PMT? Women (like men) are complex beings. Good luck! you sound like a lovely guy, and that meal sounded lush :-) And to all the people that tell you to dump her, what happened to working on things eh? jeez....
what u need to do is tell her to Ffuck off, she dosent know how hard it is to find a guy to do nice things, so if i were you id ignore her for a few days, let her sweat a little bit, then she'll be making you salad and salmon!!! trust me it works
Ouch. What a witch. If she's worth it, buy her another bottle of wine. Seriously, what a terrible way to act on her part. Maybe you should think about finding someone who would appreciate your thoughtfulness?
Her actions were unnecessary. Just leave her alone for a while and let her realize what she has done. Hopefully, she will apologize. Just wait and see what happens.
i think she went a bit far, yes you may have opened a bottle of wine she was saving, but all in all it was done as a nice gesture for her and she should have realised that! the next time you attempt to be romantic do a lovely dinner and give her a can of Dr Pepper next time!
It was a little harsh, but I can understand both her point and yours. You tried to surprise her, but unfortunatley women want surprises to be exactly what they would have planned. Was that wine expensive or what? Can you replace it? Anyway, I think you should explain to her that your intentions were good, and I am sure she has regretted talking to you like that already.
well first of all, if u wer in her house you should have asked her if you wer allowed to use the wine and if you wanted to be nice u should have brought your own bottle for her as this would have made her more happy. She was quite harsh because she needs to no that you dint no that was a special bottle.
I will ask one question... can I take yo home? LOL I think maybe once she has calmed down she will realise that she over reacted [ I wouldn't be but I'm an exception ]. It was a lovely thing for you to do and once she las calmed down, she will see that. Good luck =)
oh my god the little cow! if it was that special she should of hid it away!! uncalled for.
It would have been smarter of her to have told you beforehand that she was saving that particular bottle instead of jumping down your throat afterwords.
maybe she should have mentioned that she was saving that bottle! i can understand her being a little ticked off but old bottles can always be replaced, although it might cost a bit more. selfish cow totally missed the fact that you tried to create a special occassion by making the effort. you know to not bother next time.
She definately over reacted. How were you supposed to know
Maybe her Ex got her that bottle and wanted to open it when he got back .............. I think it was unfair of her to go into one. On the way home tonight pop in to tesco and get the oldest bottle you can.
Sorry to hear you got the "doghouse" treatment for trying to do something romatic for your girl. did you know the bottle you opened was"special"? if not the blame lies with her for not letting you know that it was a "special" bottle and you shouldn't mess with it. if so apparently she doesn't think that romance in your relationship qualifies as "special" either way I think she owes you an apology, and if she doesn't feel the same way maybe it is time to find yourself a new girlfriend ... one that will appreciate your heartfelt gesture for what it is and not beotch at you for opening her "special bottle"
did you deserved it? TOTALLY!!!!
She's crazy and ungrateful. Dump her and find someone who appreciate what you do for her !
She needs to chill out and realize just what a sweet guy she has. What a thoughtful gesture of you to make dinner have some wine and actually want to talk to her about her. She's a lucky girl. If she doesn't want you, can I have you?
same thing happened to me. My mom opened a bottle of champagne that I was saving. I got mad but then I got drunk MMMMMmmmmm it was yummy. Your girlfriend sounds like the child. Tell her get over it. Its done. Buy her another bottle and you'll be done. Don't go out of your way anymore sound like she cant appreciate you.
i woulda smashed the bottle over her face. but seriously, you had no idea, and you spent all that time making dinner. offer to replace the bottle with something of comparable value.
Wow it was only a bottle of wine! She should have appreciated what you did.
Yeah she was. You made an honest mistake and apologised for it. As well as that you'd made her dinner so that she didn't have to worry about it when she got home. You did a decent thing. She should just accept that you were being helpful and nice, and that it was an accident.
She's got sand in her vagina dude. Makes them awfully cranky! You tried to do something nice and inadvertently upset her. YOU DID NOT MEAN IT however being female she can't grasp this. The unfortunate thing is they're all like that. Whatever happens the rest of your life will be punctuated by episodes just like this one. stop being nice mate, at least that way you'll have a clue why she's kicking off!
I think you already know the answer to this question. No, of course you didn't deserve all of the grief that you received from her. It was an honest mistake. In my opinion, even after her initial shock of your choice of which wine you opened, it should have all been summed up in a laughable manner. After the fire between the two of you has died, I suggest you talk to her in a mellow tone and tell her how hard you tried to make the evening perfect for her. Then, tell her how her reaction made you feel. It is obviously weighing heavy on your mind. If you choose to overlook this and go on with out a mention of the argument only expecting it to pass, you are selling yourself short. Hence, she was just harsh! Personality is a trait that a person carries throughout their lifetime. Therefore, you may want to carefully monitor and consider her behavior when you approach the topic again for the sake of your future with her.
Is she looking for a out , if not I would , if she creates about that, buy her another and open it in front of her as a special occasion, when she asks what occasion say our last meal together as if you create like you did over a bottle of wine who knows what she will do over something serious.this may make her realise how far over the top she went.red wine is only crushed grapes for Christ sake.
You made a genuine mistake. I hope she's calmed down, I'm not defending her but I know what its like when you're so upset you cant help being angry. If she keeps bringing it up over and over again then she is being unreasonable and you should point out that you didnt do it on purpose of maliciously. Then disappear for a couple of days so she can appreciate you!!
Yeah I think she might have been to harsh. Maybe she reacted like this though because something else was wrong and that set her off edge so she got more mad than she should at you. And when a child says they are sorry they usually mean it, because they didn't mean to do something wrong to dissappoint someone. Good luck.
She was being harsh. Is she normally like this? Perhaps she had an awful day and she used you to vent. Even if that bottle was very special, her reaction was totally uncalled for. She should be grateful that her boyfriend wanted to do something nice for her. Please don't feel bad.
The real problem that lies behind the upset is that you opened RED wine to go with two fish courses. Red wine has a bad interaction with fish although it does not do any real damage. Next time it is a dry white wine with fish and the whole experience will be more enjoyable. I also note that it was taken from HER wine rack. You should have provided the wine. You could very quietly replace the wine with an identical one and find out what exactly was the special bottle of wine for. A proposal perhaps. A child maybe. This was the thin edge of the wedge so make it up to her.
If someone did the same for me, I would definetely call it a special occasion. If it hadn't been opened, I would have done so. What an ungrateful cow. If she is like this after all you had done, and over just a bottle of wine, what's she going to be like as a wife? You would have been so rewarded if it were me!!
Sounds like a plot line from Holly Oaks to me.
no you did not deserve that , you should be more important than wine honey, maybe you need to learn to stand up to her , god knows how she would react when faced with a real crisis, learn to forgive yourself even if she wont, good luck
Her reaction was too harsh!!!!! Maybe she's having a horrible day that's why she just blew up like that. But still she has no right to take out her frustration on you especially after all the things that you've done to make her happy.
this is wot happens wen people put too much emphasis on material things rather concentrating on what's really important, love. wen she calms down she may realise tht. ur a very nice bloike
There you are! http://www.the-offie.co.uk/cbeers.htm Last year's vintage in the Italian section.£12.99. Not exactly cheap at that price for a young bottle. So perhaps the fact that the bottle you opened was older would make it more expensive still. http://www.italianwinemerchant.com/Featured%20Wine/IWM_barolo.htm The Wine Doctor says: "Good vintages for Barolo and Barbaresco include 1985, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1993, and most years of the late 1990s." According to The wineanorak some young bottles are as much as £30 to £45 each. http://www.wineanorak.com/mascarello.htm You can but atone by buying a replacement, since it meant so much to her. PS.(24 hours later) I related your story to my husband. He said you should forget about the Barolo because that would rub salt in the wound. He suggested a bottle of vintage Champagne. Nobody could mistake that for an ordinary bottle of wine.
you an alcoholic or summut, or just bragging,
You poor thing, if she didn't want it to be open she should have put in somewhere else or told you that she was saving it for a special occasion and that it shouldn't have been opened. You are not a mind reader how were you supposed to know that she was saving it. She is being harsh and you did apologise for it. However it sounds as if there is more to this story and there is something that she isn't telling you because she has gone totally over the top over a bottle of wine. Would she have reacted the same way if you or she had knocked it over by accident
If someone did all of my scut work *and* cooked me a nice dinner, that would qualify as a special occasion in my opinion. I'd be curious to know what constitutes a special occasion to her.... if she had some event in mind or was just hoarding it away. If I was setting something aside for future use, I probably wouldn't store it with the everyday items! Or I'd mark it in some way - Don't open until my birthday, etc. - especially if other people have access to it. In the end, a bottle of wine is just a thing. It can be replaced. People are more important. If she's territorial about possessions, there's probably a reason. It would be worth discussing if you think she's a keeper.
Man, wine is wine, it all tastes the same to me. The next time she's out, leave a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, take a dump in the toilet and leave it, and when she bitches about it, remind her that you didn't want to use some of her "special" dishwashing soap, or her "special" water for the toilet, and see how she reacts then. It sounds like she couldn't react any worse, so why put forth any effort, only to get slapped down for it. I know that she was probably mad because of the wine, but jeeze, wine can be replaced. If you decide not to stay with her, just remember, there is a woman out there who will appreciate an effort like that and not treat you like shi**, I know, I found one. :-)
That seems to be a really harsh reaction over a bottle of wine. Is she usually the type of person to get really worked up over small things? If she is, then maybe you need to rethink that relationship. If this was unusal behavior, and she is generally a kind loving woman who appreciates what a thoughtful guy you are, then maybe it wasn't the wine that she was really upset about. Try talking to her when she has settled down and ask her if there is something else going on. Or maybe that bottle had a particular sentimental meaning and there was a specific occasion she was saving it for, not just a random special occasion. You say that her words were, "I was like a child saying sorry all the time with no idea of how hurt she was". That sounds like a lot of women who want there man to not just be sorry that they upset her, but to really understand why thier action upset her. When you have that conversation, try asking her where & when she got that bottle, what was the occasion she was saving it for. You may find out that someone important who is no longer in her life gave it to her or that she had been going through a particularly rough time when she bought it and the story behind the bottle is more important than the bottle itself. Those sort of things could explain why she over reacted, and let you really understand how hurt she was.
Ditch her,ungrateful woman! Will you marry me ?
What I always say, stay away from wine and women at the same time.
Bloody hell, I'm lucky if I get a coffee when I get home! It obviously had sentimental value but unless you are a mind reader how are you supposed to know? I would replace the bottle if you are able if not say you are sorry but you cannot undo what has been done and you need to move on from it. If she cannot get over this then there isn't much future for you 2.